"You don't love God's word"

Today was our 4th day here in Kansas City, MO at Crossworld's Candidate orientation. We have had a great time meeting the staff and other candidates. Going into these two weeks we really didn't know what to expect. We were given some instructions but basically didn't know what we were getting ourselves into! haha

We have been learning some really great stuff! What I want to share in particular was a story from today. Dale is the President of Crossworld and he plays a large role in the C.O process. His session today was all about making disciples. Dale has written a book titled A Better Way, which speaks on what is means to make disciples. The book is a direct reflection of what Crossworld values most. The concept is so simple. Make disciples. These instructions come start out of Jesus' mouth right before he ascends to heaven. Make disciples. So today we looked at Biblical examples of what that looked like. It was so interested to dig into. You cannot have discipleship, if you don't have relationship. A true, genuine, caring, relationship where you sacrifice time, resources, your self in order to share the truth about Jesus Christ and facilitate the process of being refined. That is something that a lot of us miss. The American church misses it. 

I can go deeper into making disciples but that is not the purpose of this post. This post is about five words. Five words that have sorta rocked me a bit. The story goes something like this...

Dale's wife, then girlfriend, came from a family where her father was a well known youth pastor. Everyone in the San Diego area at that time knew who Pastor Jerry was. Dale describes him as being a very serious man who only every talks about two things. God and his word. Not sports. Not the weather. God and his word. Pastor Jerry was very intentional with how he spent his time it seems. When Dale wanted to spend some time with Pastor Jerry before he was going to propose to his then girlfriend, he thought is a good idea come up with some questions to ask Pastor Jerry. This is what he came up with: "Is there anything in my life that you see needs improvement?" Wait..what? Insert shoes into mouth. Dale explained to us that he had no idea why he thought that would be a good question to ask. Not even 2 seconds after the question was asked did Dale receive his answer. Pastor Jerry said, "You don't love God's word". 

crickets....

Could you imagine being told that. But wait, I do my devotions everyday. I have some scripture memorized. I am involved in a small group weekly. I also want to get into ministry. How can you say that I don't love God's word?! 

A lot of what we have been learning these last two days is all about the heart. What is your heart full of? Anger, jealousy, bitterness, selfishness, greed and the list can go on. We know that we are all sinners and are in a constant battle with our flesh. Since we are followers of Christ, we have his Spirit living in our sin infected bodies. The Spirit is at war with our flesh. The things that are in our heart are the things that eventually come out of our mouths. When we face trials our heart is exposed and whatever we are feeding ourselves, what we have given into apart from God, is going to seep out. If we are feeding ourselves God's word, then we are able to saturate our hearts with it and when we are bummed in life, our hearts pour out God's truth. 

But...in order to do that, we need to LOVE God's word. Not just revere it. Not just use it to defend our actions. Not just to slap down rules. We need to swallow it. We need to envelop ourselves in what it says. 

I don't LOVE God's word. I love it. I think it is a priority. I know its essential to my faith. But I don't LOVE God's word. I am still chewing on why that is what it is. I think that I could tell you all the surface reasons I don't read scripture like I should but I don't think that would solve the real issue. Deep down there is something that I hold onto that inhabits me from swallowing the word. 

You don't love God's word... something to wrestle with